7 Signs that You Need to Build Stronger Boundaries
Have you experienced these feelings before?
What led you to those moments of having more to handle than you really had to offer?
In my own life, I discovered my leadership hits maximum capacity many times because I don’t have clearly defined boundaries. This can be true for many of us. And the signs are there. But, because we are too busy saying ‘yes’ we can easily miss them.
Boundaries are needed and beneficial. God creates and supports the concept of boundaries, providing a positive example for us to learn from and follow. For every boundary in the Bible, there is a great reason behind it.
For example, what would be behind the Lord’s reasoning to establish a boundary between He and His people in Exodus 19:12? Due to our fallen nature because of sin, we’d never survive the sight of Him and His holiness and glory with our human eyes this side of heaven. So, an easy reason would be He’s created that boundary so we don’t die.
The following seven experiences are clear signs that you need to build stronger boundaries. Grab a cup of tea and take a moment to read through them:
1. You Are Always Working or Always Relaxing.
What boundaries can you create that will remind you when you should be working and when you should be playing?
2. You Are Always Running Late.
What boundaries can you create and plan in advance to keep you from constantly running late for meetings, project deadlines, dates or social gatherings?
3. You Blame Others for Your Unhappiness.
Who or what do you find yourself blaming for your lack of happiness or fulfillment in life? Remember to tap into Jesus and find your joy in Him alone. Since you can only control yourself, what boundaries can you create to help you take responsibility for your life?
4. You Are Over-indulging.
What do you find yourself overindulging on? Be honest with yourself. Also, understand why you are unable to say ‘no.’ What healthy boundaries do you need to implement so that you can lead well by saying ‘no?’
5. Your Personal and Work Relationships Are Deteriorating.
Identify the most important people in your life and work. What are you not doing to cultivate these relationships? Be honest with yourself and take time to appraise the important relationships in your life. Create some concrete changes you need to make and boundaries that will help you live in the moment in your relationships.
6. You are Always Doing Something for Someone Else and Feel Taken Advantage Of.
Forgive and let it go. Oftentimes, the people in your life, your job, and at home may not realize they are taking advantage of you. But you can take control of the situation. Identify some healthy boundaries to prevent others from using you and commit to making time for yourself.
7. You Can’t Clearly Identify Your Values from Those of Others.
Own and protect your core values. Your values are an indication of what matters and what you stand for as a leader. Avoid putting yourself in situations where your values are being compromised or misaligned. What boundaries do you need to identify so you can be true to yourself?
As you read through the seven signs above, did you identify commonalities in yourself, your environment, or your relationships? If those signs resonated, acknowledge them and make a plan to get boundaries in place to improve your situation.
Learn the power of saying ‘no’ as a leader. Remember, with clear and strong boundaries you can say ‘yes’ to living your BEST Remarkable life by design!